tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post2708538536803654952..comments2023-10-08T05:00:23.559-04:00Comments on Clarissa's Blog: Not A Real WomanClarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-6625906494487912822011-02-24T10:23:25.981-05:002011-02-24T10:23:25.981-05:00There is a lot of sexism in academia. There is als...There is a lot of sexism in academia. There is also a lot of pseudo-feminist and quasi-liberal silliness. Still, an academic position is a wonderful, wonderful thing, which I strongly recommend.Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-58645804939241540982011-02-24T10:09:14.596-05:002011-02-24T10:09:14.596-05:00(disclaimer: I'm not currently at a research u...(disclaimer: I'm not currently at a research university, so this is technically fairly off topic in terms of the research/gender debate)<br /><br />Clarissa and Profacero--FWIW, I got the assumption-of-gayness thing for a while (I was older when I married) from a lot of my friends and colleagues. Later what many of them told me caused the assumption (I guess they could have been lying, but I prefer this to the other reasons!)was that I was smart, attractive, fun to be around, and they just assumed that if I'd wanted to be coupled I probably would be, so the fact that I wasn't indicated that I probably wasn't interested in men and was dating in the closet.<br /><br />I chose to take that as a compliment. :-) <br /><br />(Even better was that, when I DID find The Guy, it turned out it was someone several of my gay friends had been unsucessfully coming on to for several months. Their self-esteem and confidence in their own hotness was immediately restored.)<br /><br />Y'all are utterly destroying my hope that getting my butt into academia might give me a shot at escaping the inherent sexism of my current position...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-74804145124292925612011-02-20T20:42:05.467-05:002011-02-20T20:42:05.467-05:00Have you ever watched Otomen (オトメン(乙男))? This is a...Have you ever watched Otomen (オトメン(乙男))? This is a Japanese teen drama about the adventures of a soushoku danshio or Japanese herbivore boy. Here’s a link to episode 1 with English subtitles.<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLhCZDJ9uoACanukistaninoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-42609764289330528622011-02-20T20:24:01.177-05:002011-02-20T20:24:01.177-05:00" some female stereotypes are harmless (the p..." some female stereotypes are harmless (the preference for chocolate)"<br /><br />-I thought that too until I saw a commercial, saying: "60% of women say they prefer chocolate to sex".Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-11782503717009790172011-02-20T20:21:15.793-05:002011-02-20T20:21:15.793-05:00I don't fit the qualities of masculinity very ...I don't fit the qualities of masculinity very well. I don't follow professional sports. I'm not into cars, or action movies. I prefer art, movies, and books, and writing. Physically I am not large. No one has ever said I was unlike a man. I *am* masculine in other ways. Then again my social circle accepted me for who I was a long time ago, and some of them are similar to me. I am not concerned with what other men think of me. However, I do worry that women will not see me as masculine enough.<br /><br />My sense is that some female stereotypes are harmless (the preference for chocolate) while others (speaking directly, being interested in certain things, etc.) are used to keep women from asserting themselves or acquiring power.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-67670943447793413082011-02-20T19:38:10.248-05:002011-02-20T19:38:10.248-05:00This gender stuff is funny. I was married to a fem...This gender stuff is funny. I was married to a feminist pioneer who was the first priest in the diocese to take maternity leave. We use to get letters addressed to the Rev. and Mrs. X. so I guess I was Mrs. X, the clergy spouse. We also had a male nanny to look after the kids. He was an Irish mormon who trained in a nanny school.Canukistaninoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-26607818861937474672011-02-20T13:37:09.669-05:002011-02-20T13:37:09.669-05:00I think of myself as a nurturing teacher, or at le...I think of myself as a nurturing teacher, or at least as an encouraging one. Less so at the freshman and sophmore levels than at upper level undergrad and grad level, but still somewhat so.Pagan Topologisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01611788563582362688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-38972301012670828052011-02-20T12:51:54.039-05:002011-02-20T12:51:54.039-05:00:-)
Every time my husband orders chocolate cake a...:-)<br /><br />Every time my husband orders chocolate cake at a restaurant, the waiter puts it in front of me. :-) It isn't easy to be a chocolate-loving male. :-)Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-31878242451651435712011-02-20T12:50:12.817-05:002011-02-20T12:50:12.817-05:00Indifference to chocolate alone should disqualify ...Indifference to chocolate alone should disqualify you. That's pretty essential to womanhood. I guess the women on that thread were right to see you as an impostor. <br /><br />[sarcasm from a male chocolate freak]Jonathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09371893596402673898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-76685075222765707262011-02-20T12:06:56.759-05:002011-02-20T12:06:56.759-05:00"It's not women (or not research oriented..."It's not women (or not research oriented women) who think they can't do research or should be more "into" "nurturing" teaching"<br /><br />-But I only hear it from women, as weird as it sounds.<br /><br />"Never discussing husbands or boyfriends in class"<br /><br />-My methodology of teaching prof tried to teach me to share such info with my students. How I suffered!<br /><br />According to your list, I'm gay too. :-)Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-78806438100364091672011-02-20T11:59:49.274-05:002011-02-20T11:59:49.274-05:00Well, it's not women (or not research oriented...Well, it's not women (or not research oriented women) who think they can't do research or should be more "into" "nurturing" teaching. I think that's where you misunderstand Historiann's thread. <br /><br />I've always gotten all kinds of crap for "thinking like a man," not being sweet enough, and so on. I also don't like to bake, which means I don't bring cakes to the department.<br /><br />However, the most amusing story is during the era when I was the designated outside member on a lot of English dissertations. It made sense since I'm from CPLT originally and I know some things about English. So from being in Spanish, I was on a lot of Chicano studies type dissertations, and then it expanded to African American Studies, and so on, to Queer Studies. Everything alternative / minority.<br /><br />I again thought it was because of my field but then found out it was also because of the impression I seem to give, which is: gay.<br /><br />Reasons for this impression, I was told, were five:<br />1. Living in the city, not the suburbs, and being willing to commute from this mysterious urban life.<br />2. Wearing dark colors, not more traditionally feminine ones.<br />3. Not wearing spike heels; if I wear heals they are not terribly delicate.<br />4. Having strong opinions.<br />5. Never discussing husbands or boyfriends in class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-13378609912084697762011-02-20T11:59:47.920-05:002011-02-20T11:59:47.920-05:00Well, it's not women (or not research oriented...Well, it's not women (or not research oriented women) who think they can't do research or should be more "into" "nurturing" teaching. I think that's where you misunderstand Historiann's thread. <br /><br />I've always gotten all kinds of crap for "thinking like a man," not being sweet enough, and so on. I also don't like to bake, which means I don't bring cakes to the department.<br /><br />However, the most amusing story is during the era when I was the designated outside member on a lot of English dissertations. It made sense since I'm from CPLT originally and I know some things about English. So from being in Spanish, I was on a lot of Chicano studies type dissertations, and then it expanded to African American Studies, and so on, to Queer Studies. Everything alternative / minority.<br /><br />I again thought it was because of my field but then found out it was also because of the impression I seem to give, which is: gay.<br /><br />Reasons for this impression, I was told, were five:<br />1. Living in the city, not the suburbs, and being willing to commute from this mysterious urban life.<br />2. Wearing dark colors, not more traditionally feminine ones.<br />3. Not wearing spike heels; if I wear heals they are not terribly delicate.<br />4. Having strong opinions.<br />5. Never discussing husbands or boyfriends in class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-50267038163155677572011-02-20T11:08:41.469-05:002011-02-20T11:08:41.469-05:00Nobody ever told me I wasn't feminine enough. ...Nobody ever told me I wasn't feminine enough. I can't really imagine any woman saying that to any one. The "you are just like a man" comment has absolutely nothing to do with how feminine one is. <br /><br />It's very telling that people aren't managing to read the text that I actually wrote and respond to it. :-)<br /><br />" When I pressed for evidence, they said it was because I wasn't "catty" and that I wasn't a "tease" and didn't try to use sex to get what I wanted. "<br /><br />-A very clumsy attempt at manipulating you.Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-35806515762654441682011-02-20T10:41:57.271-05:002011-02-20T10:41:57.271-05:00I've had the opposite experience as well. I...I've had the opposite experience as well. I've never had a problem with women telling me I'm not feminine enough, but a frequent backhanded compliment from male friends that I get is that I'm "Not like other women. Basically [I'm] one of the guys." When I pressed for evidence, they said it was because I wasn't "catty" and that I wasn't a "tease" and didn't try to use sex to get what I wanted. <br />Huh?Leah Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16798094383285526940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-28575342418430091172011-02-20T10:26:48.190-05:002011-02-20T10:26:48.190-05:00SarahL: that I'm intimidating I have heard fro...SarahL: that I'm intimidating I have heard from people of all genders, creeds and colors. :-) Aggressive, too. :-) But what I'm talking is when people specifically connect those qualities to gender.<br /><br />Izgad: there is no male brain. There is just a lot of sexism, that's all. :-) :-)Clarissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-35286626008436493252011-02-20T10:02:51.884-05:002011-02-20T10:02:51.884-05:00Thats ok I am not a real woman either. :)
On a se...Thats ok I am not a real woman either. :)<br /><br />On a serious note your comments would fit with the Baron Cohen theory that Asperger Syndrome leads to a very "male" brain.Izgadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03869626126435460209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-37059451574011203572011-02-20T08:40:52.715-05:002011-02-20T08:40:52.715-05:00My experience is the opposite, I'm 6ft tall, l...My experience is the opposite, I'm 6ft tall, loud, have an upfront contact style and have consistently been told be men that I'm aggressive, butch, intimidating, but I have found that women are much less superficial in their judgements.<br /><br />My experience is that generally it's men that want us to fit the stereotype, the women I know and have known are comfortable with the differences.SarahLnoreply@blogger.com