tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post8543120957167137974..comments2023-10-08T05:00:23.559-04:00Comments on Clarissa's Blog: A Review of Leslie Steiner's Mommy WarsClarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11027134365260069910noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-51011016076602895742010-11-02T17:05:51.814-04:002010-11-02T17:05:51.814-04:00"It's also a class thing--from my casual ..."It's also a class thing--from my casual observation, working and upper class parents have a life, while middle class parents display the most anxiety, probably because their own prospects are are felt to be so precarious."<br /><br />Unfortunately parents (mothers especially, it seems) tend to be judgemental of others regardless of their social class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-2993656119761131452010-11-02T13:41:28.064-04:002010-11-02T13:41:28.064-04:00The problem is that competitiveness is mistaken fo...The problem is that competitiveness is mistaken for happiness and fulfillment. And even speaking of competitiveness per se - having some set of skills is just part of it. Otherwise competitiveness is reduced by the experience of somebody (parents) constantly deciding for the child what child has to do.Vnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-40353725136279655602010-11-02T10:55:06.001-04:002010-11-02T10:55:06.001-04:00Z said "but here there is this whole ideology...Z said "but here there is this whole ideology of sacrifice..."<br /><br />That's true. My parents had a life, and my brother and I were no worse off for it. I think a lot of the "ideology of sacrifice" is perpetuated by the media (the "baby mania" we witness in tabloids), a general anxiety about whether today's kids will be "competitive" in a perceived world of dwindling resources (either material or in terms of access to education, health care, jobs, etc.), fear of "the other' who are a potential threat (especially post-9/11), and Gen X parents feeling the need to compensate for their parents having a life, by micro-managing their kids' play time and social interactions, most often at enormous personal expense.<br /><br />It's also a class thing--from my casual observation, working and upper class parents have a life, while middle class parents display the most anxiety, probably because their own prospects are are felt to be so precarious.<br /><br />Cartoonist Chris Ware once replied to the charge that America had 'no culture' by replying that America indeed has a culture--the strangest culture there is.ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-13780346494720194342010-11-01T23:14:02.153-04:002010-11-01T23:14:02.153-04:00I think the US is particularly conflicted about ch...I think the US is particularly conflicted about children and motherhood and I am not sure why. Elsewhere it seems it is OK to have children and also a life, but here there is this whole ideology of sacrifice...? Am I right on this in some way or is it just a weird observation?Zhttp://sptc.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164556861454970487.post-54194983796138871042010-11-01T17:17:42.182-04:002010-11-01T17:17:42.182-04:00Great review! This is only my conjecture, but mem...Great review! This is only my conjecture, but members of "Generation X"--those born in America during the '60's and '70's (and of which my wife and I are members), statistically witnessed historically high divorce rates amnongst their parents. There was also the phenomenon of the "latchkey kid," where children were coming home from school to house that was empty because both parents were working for the first time in American history. So many of our generation overcompensate for this perception of neglect by being way, way overprotective of their own kids. My wife and I avoided the angst we witnessed amongst our peers, by simply opting out of parenthood--which invites a host of other problems, chiefly the taboo status of non-parenthood here in the states.ericnoreply@blogger.com