I always thought how great it was that you and I split the household chores evenly and never have to argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes or make dinner. I always appreciated your belief that there are no male or female activites, duties, or capabilities. I know that for a feminist like you it's crucial that I hold the same beliefs.
Today, however, UK's Daily Mail has informed me that the fact that you do household chores has made you "abandon [your] natural manly instincts and become [a] hybrid of both sexes." Even though you were the one to suggest we split our household duties, it turns out you must have been bullied into it by bad horrible me. According to a relationship expert Francine Kaye (yeah, I know, this "profession" can better be described as "loser-swindler"), you are now a "male-female hybrid." I have recently had an ample opportunity to verify that your "manly instincts" are perfectly fine, but who knows what could have occurred in these few hours we haven't seen each other? Maybe two years of all this dishwashing and bathroom cleaning have finally kicked in.
I got upset at first but then I realized that this "expert" considers me a "masculine-like female." I know this suggestion makes you laugh. But remember that time I stayed at home waiting for the fridge repair person? Remember how I sometimes book airplane and Greyhound tickets? This is what turns me into a masculine-like female in our expert's opinion.
So everything is fine, sweetheart. A male-female (you) and female-male (me) can surely find a way to mesh our male and female parts quite nicely.
And believe me, contrary to this article's assertion, I will never resent you for not treating me like your household slave.
Lots of love,