Saturday, August 8, 2009

Pick-up Artists

So it turns out that George Sodini, a mass murderer and a woman-hater, was one of those pick-up-artist losers. Numerous sources report that he read and attended his seminars. The "pick-up community (there is a "community" for every kind of weirdo out there, it seems) creattes techniques that supposedly allow ugly, unpopular, stupid people to meet and date beautiful women. I say "stupid" because you have to be beyond dumb to reach a certain age and still fail to understand that you don't need pick-up lines, strategies, conversation starters, etc. to have a fulfilling personal life.

The main idea behind this "art of pick-up" is that you have to be as insulting as possible to attract women's attention. There are some people who are making pretty good money by peddling this theory to desperate idiots who haven't been laid in years and don't have a chance to be noticed by anybody with half a brain. When I read some of the techniques they offer, I realized that quite a few of them have been used on me. My only response to this kind of behavior has always been, of course, a total rejection of a jerk who would try to approach me in that way.

Here are some examples from one of the sites:

KINO OPENERS (TylerDurden) Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking them, snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the opposite shoulder, etc…(these require no memorization are easy for newbies)

PRIMP OPENER (Harmless) First, here is the frame you're using for this opener:
"You're CUTE... but I'm going to make you a ROCKSTAR!"
This is, in fact, the exact wording I used to open Schematic's HB9 on Saturday night. I opened her and I let him take over and #close her. (He should have gotten more. Bad schematic. Oh well, I'll call her later. Maybe)
You don't even need to say anything to open, so this works in the loudest clubs.
You walk up, of course making sure to keep your BL under control. (Shoulders away, etc.) You check her out then make a face like you aren't happy with what you see. Then you hold your hands out like you're judging her style. You move in SLOWLY, pick some article of clothing (hat, shirt, etc. Best if it's upper body or head) and PRIMP it. Take her hat and TWIST it ever so slightly. Now, back away, lean back, look her over, and give her a thumbs up.
"NOW you're a SUPERSTAR!"
Continue with push/pull if you wish... "But wait..." and twist the hat back the other way. If she touches her hat, bust her for messing it up.
Tell her she's allowed to be seen with you now, and promenade her around the club.

COMPLIMENT OPENER Compliment her on something she’s wearing or her hair or just style in general. The trick is compliment openers are to never compliment her on her physical beauty.
You have an incredibly energy about you You have an artless grace That’s an incredible whatever-x accessory/garment

There is also a technique called "negging." It's a putdown that is supposed to make a beautiful woman feel so insecure about her looks that she will consider dating you. It's from this site:

Your hair looks shiny, is it a wig? Oh well it looks nice anyway

That’s lovely long hair – are they extensions?

I think your hair would look better up/down

Nice nails – are they acrylic. Oh, well they look good anyway.

Awww, how cute, your nose wiggles when you laugh – look there it goes again !!!

Is that your natural hair colour well its not bad So you changed it to that?

You have U shaped teeth.

Well at least you have a nice body

Eww your palms are sweaty

Where is your off button

Were you a dork at school or something

Your kinda cute, like my little sister

Did you parents not give you enough attention as a child ?

How short are you?

You’re already back to square one with me

You need to get out more often...

I can see you work out…………occasionally

Wow, that’s a great tan….have you like not washed for a week or something he he

Wow, I reckon with a bit of training you could be a stripper or a pole dancer….how cool would that be

You remind me of my weird ex

Oh – you’re one of THOSE

You have a nice act but somewhere in there, is a little girl who just wants to be held and appreciated for who she is.

A suggestion for would-be-rapists from one of these idiotic sites:

Stop Asking For Permission. Can we dance? Can I have your number? Can I kiss you? Because guys don’t know what it’s like when someone asks for permission to escalate intimacy, they don’t realize how lame it is for them to do so. Asking for permission introduces an awkward moment where the girl’s brain floods with reasons not to do what you are asking to. Plus you make it seem like you are scared of getting rejected, a quality not attractive to most women. Instead of asking, just do it and see what happens.

It's unbelievable that any man would be clueless enough to pay for seminars that offer this kind of suggestions.


Anonymous said...

Being cynical, I would suggest that this tactic "works", but not for the reasons pickupers state. The real reason it works is incompatible with them feeling that good about their "conquests". Essentially, the described procedure is a method for selecting women with low self-respect. Any self-respecting woman would reject somebody who is trying to put her down. Those who will not reject - are likely to be manipulated further.
I am not sure what percentage of women has low enough self-esteem to fall for that, but since the pickupers' main goal is just to well, pick up, it does not matter for them if the rate is 1/10. This reminds me all those Russian jokes about the first lieutenant Rzheffski... :)

Veronica said...

These tactics remind me of ones that were used on me in high school, but they wouldn't work on me now. Specifically the bra strap snapping.

Clarissa said...

It seems like their main goal is just to get a woman to talk to you and that's considered like some kind of a victory. I don't believe that any dating relationship actually resulted from these tactics.

These kinds of losers are so starved for female attention that having a woman pay you enough attention to say 'Get lost, jerk' is better for them than the total rejection they get normally.

Pagan Topologist said...

These tactics are outrageous. But, I do think there is a need to teach people to be comfortable enough to actually have a conversation with someone. For many years, when a woman I did not know would look at me, I would walk away in fear and avoid her thereafter. I have never really gotten over this, I think, but have lucked into a good marriage in spite of it.

Ross Jeffries is the only person I know anything about who works in this area. He does seem to teach men to approach women using a paradigm of respect, not of being insulting. I know women who got into relationships with men who used his strategies. One of them told me that she felt very loved because her significant other would put so much effort into meaningful communication with her.

Clarissa said...

I love how old threads are being revived in this way. Thank you, David!

As for me, I always preferred approaching men I wanted to meet myself. In a bar or a club, there would always be tons of men coming up to one, offering drinks, striking up conversations, etc. But I would always choose a guy who just sat there all shy, looking at me with interest but afraid to come up. So I'd come up to him instead.

I don't like pushy men. I especially don't like men who think they need to buy something for me to attract my attention. The shy guys are usually the ones who don't want to be insistent and pushy, so I always chose them.

More women should start choosing for themselves and not sit there waiting for men to choose them.

Patrick said...

I read this, and I'm ashamed to be male.

Always knew there was a reason I hated the bar scene. I see a guy acting like that, and I just want to clock him.