Thursday, August 13, 2009

Weird Men Day

For some reason, yesterday was the day I encountered a bunch of weird men.

Situation 1 (where I discovered that some people are just begging for a putdown):

A drunk guy screams at me as I'm walking down the street: Hey, you! Hey, blondie! Don't be a stuck-up bitch, talk to me!

Me (exhausted from packing and out to buy more trash bags): Buddy, I'm not in the mood, just leave me alone.

Guy: Oh, she's not in the mood! Typical woman!

Me (very annoyed now): I'm sure that's the only thing you ever hear from women. Feels just like home, doesn't it?

Guy's friends: Boooh! Burn!!

Guy: Oh, shut up you guys.

Situation 2 (where I discovered men have no solidarity):

At my favorite bar a very respectful man from Baltimore strikes up a conversation about his city. The second he leaves for the bathroom, his friend comes up.

Friend: So my friend told me he's taking you home tonight.

Me: Don't worry, you can still take him home yourself, I really don't mind.

Friend: No... I mean... You don't understand, he was bragging that he'd sleep with you tonight.

Me: As I said, you don't need to worry. He's still all yours.

Friend (indignant): I'm not gay!!

Me (compassionate): Really? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that!

Friend (confused): Urm... What? (Then he walks away all confused).

Situation 3 (where I discovered you have to be rude to get some people to respect your boundaries):

A guy with a shaved head comes up to me and grabs my hair:

Man: You have beautiful hair!

Me: And you have... no hair.

(The man cringes and disappears in the bathroom).


Anonymous said...

Where do you find all that? :) :)

Clarissa said...

By "all that" do you mean weird men? :-) I think God sends them in my direction so that I can take them down a notch. I'm performing an important social service here. :-) Next time they'll think twice before insulting a woman.

Natalee said...

I wish I always had a presence of mind to react so fast and with so much sarcasm when guys hassle me!

Anonymous said...

Great job! I love the way you put them down. It's scary how many guys think it's okay to be disrespectful towards a woman. They should be taught a lesson.

I have a question though. Don't you feel afraid some of these guys can become aggressive with you in response?


Clarissa said...

The first situation happened in broad daylight, so there was notthing to worry about. The other two took place in my neighborhood bar. The bouncer adores me, he is my neighbor and has a crush on my boyfriend. :-) So I feel very comfortable there.