Friday, July 9, 2010

Faking Orgasms Hurts

One of the central problems of North American feminism is its uneasy attitude to female sexuality. One of my most popular posts lists some strange statements about sex I encountered on feminist websites. Among these weird statements was an assertion that still gets a lot of support in the feminist community. It consisted of a defense of faking one's orgasms in order to spare one's partner's ego.

After being bombarded by that kind of antiquated Victorian barbarity, I was happy to discover that the same site that promoted this weird idea today published a post explaining why faking orgasms hurts women physically:
Medical science has proven that women get a similar painful feeling when we don't get to finish properly either. There is nothing worse then being close to climaxing and losing it; just because we don't physically ejaculate (well, much) doesn't mean we don't get pink balls.
 Maybe one day we will see North American feminism lose its fear of female sexuality entirely. Or at least mostly. Or at the very least somewhat. Wouldn't that be nice?


Anonymous said...

I've been wondering a lot lately -- in light of the Olivia Munn controversy and other similar events -- why feminists (at least mainstream ones) are the most eager, often, to punish a woman for expressing sexuality.

I just can't wrap my mind around that, not even a little bit.


Clarissa said...

Feminists are definitely not the MOST eager ones. There is a whole fanatical fundamentalist movement in this country. American feminism simply reflects the general puritanical bent of this society, neither more nor less than anybody else (except the fundamentalists, of course).

Iris said...

I would love to see North Americans lose their fear of sexuality. Sex, in most any form, is hilarious, profound, joyful, playful, ecstatic, etc.. No one with common sense could believe in a creator limiting sex to procreation. Just for a moment - think about the population explosion that would cause! It's a natural function of our physicality.

Yet so many people think sex is nasty. Women are trained to not be nasty (no farting, belching, scratching, sex for its own sake) I'm surprised we manage to have sex at all.

My reaction to this news of "pink balls" is: some women feel it is their just punishment for daring to have sex and/or sex is only for procreation and not for enjoyment by women.

My intuition and reason tell me many people view the pain of childbirth as a just punishment for sex, hence the reluctance to provide meaningful education on the mechanics of sex, birth control and safe abortions.

From what I've observed our society promotes the belief of don't do the nasty, if you can't pay the price. Because you will pay and pay and pay. Of course, one will pay in other ways for abstinence.

Another fine mess we've gotten ourselves into.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you are right about American feminists reflecting the bent of the society they are in.

I've been thinking a lot about that lately -- how even revolutionary, radical movements are almost always wholly or partially co-opted by the cultural milieu in which they are forced to swim.


Anonymous said...

I once read an article in a U.S. women's magazine which alleged that the reason so many women believe they do not have orgasms is that they do not notice them. If we would notice that we in fact have many of them than we have realized heretofore, we would not be so dissatisfied with our sex lives, said the article.

Clarissa said...

Yeah, 'cause women are so stupid, you know. What can you expect from such brainless creatures. How we manage to find our own vaginas is a mystery.