Thursday, July 1, 2010

Making Fun of Libertarians

Everybody has probably seen this already but it's so funny that I want to post it as well:

TITLE: The 24 Types of Libertarian
Balding white guy: no fair oversimplifying our simplistic philosophy!
Caption: NAIVE
Happy guy with goatee: if the government would DISAPPEAR, everyone would act SENSIBLY and we’d all be able to get ALONG!
Annoyed guy with necktie: libertarians don’t win elections because we’re too PURE and GOOD!
Guy with small face on large head: OBVIOUSLY, climate scientists made up global warming. because they’re SOCIALISTS.
Smiling woman with “explaining hands”: CLEARLY you’ve never READ the evidence.
Caption: LEFT-WING
Woman in distance, yelling to be heard: I’m HERE! i EXIST! i’m against the goverment AND corporations! why does everyone always ignore me?
Annoyed guy with shaved head and cigarette: just because i’ve voted republican every election for 20 years is no reason to call me a republican!
Grinning man with goatee and ponytail: we should PRIVATIZE the police! people who can’t afford to pay the cops won’t have anything worth stealing, anyway.
Frightened, crouching man wearing combat fatigue pants: BIG GOVERNMENT is coming! thank GALT i’ve stockpiled so much AMMO!
Black guy making big arm gestures: lazarus long said that all men are created UNEQUAL. it’s not MY fault i’m SMARTER than poor people!
Older man in colorful vest and button-up shirt, holding a piece of paper in one hand. An arrow caption pointed at the piece of paper says “social security check.” Two more arrow captions, pointed at the man, say “Public school grad” and “drives on public roads.”
Man: no one ever gave ME anything! so don’t force ME to give to others!
Caption: CREEPY
Man in shadows, wearing sunglasses: why should i have to go all the way to THAILAND to have sex with a child prostitute?
Man with worry lines on forehead: the deficit is too HIGH to AFFORD anything for the poor! OR the environment! …but don’t let that stand in the way of my tax cut.
as the latest of a LONG line of wealthy pundits, i KNOW success is created by MERIT!
Exalted guy with hands together as if praying: we just need to TRUST that the MAGIC of the MARKET will make everything work out! that’s why it’s MAGIC!
Caption: ATLAS
Manically grinning man with messy hair, sitting with his hands on his computer keyboard: someday me and my friends will QUIT updating our blogs and THE ECONOMY WILL COLLAPSE!
Intense, woodpecker-looking man: stocks were UP, so i said: CUT TAXES! then stocks went down, so i said: CUT TAXES! i just stubbed my toe! CUT TAXES!
Man with big glasses and big grin, reading book: I’ve read summaries of the federalist papers MANY times, so I KNOW the framers share my views about EVERYTHING!
Man holding two handguns up: there are only TWO kinds of people in the world: GUN OWNERS and SHEEP! and sheep aren’t really people.
Man with arms crossed: government should stay OUT of our personal lives! except for women’s uteruses, where government BELONGS!
Balding man in hoodie: the war on drugs is RIDICULOUS! end police abuse! #%^@! the war!
Caption: WHITEY
Balding man in black vest and black tie: i DO think it’s a TERRIBLE affront to liberty if restaurants HAVE to serve blacks! how is THAT racist?
Man holding out copy of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” with wide eyes and bags under his eyes:YOU MUST READ THIS!
Cheerful man about to eat hot dog: no need for a nanny state! i can test my OWN food for botulism!
Caption: STONED
Words coming up from somewhere below the bottom of the panel: hee hee hee


Melissa said...

That's AMAZING, thanks for posting it. (I'm so tempted to send this to the Libertarians I know, but I don't think they'd be quite so amused.)

Out of curiosity, has anyone ever actually known an anti-choice Libertarian? (I'm looking at "Bizarrely Hypocritical" here.) Pretty awesome characterization of a lot of Republicans, I'd say, but I haven't actually seen a Libertarian take it up to that level of hypocrisy. Maybe I've just been sheltered. ;)

Clarissa said...

By your request, Melissa, anti-choice Libertarians coming right up:

A Tea Party member Sharron Angle says that she is against abortion even in case of rape and incest because that's still God's plan.

Here is an organization of Libertarians against abortion (one of many):

Rand Paul, Ron Paul's son, is endorsed by Concerned Women for America, an anti-choice group.

Here is more on Rand Paul's anti-abortion stance:

Thank you for this question. I have been collecting links on anti-abortion Libertarians and now I have a chance to post them.

This hypocrisy is astounding.

Barry Deutsch said...

Yay! Something I've done has qualified as an "everybody's probably already seen this!"

That makes my day. Thanks! :-)

Melissa said...

Wow. I can't believe I didn't even know that. Thanks for the links though.

Anonymous said...

In my experience, most self-declared Libertarians are against abortion.

But that comic is hilarious!

While I do have some libertarian sympathies -- for instance, one reason health care got so expensive was because of government subsidization (And no, not talking about Medicare) -- most Libertarians are childish ninnies who couldn't think their way out of a Stephenie Meyer novel.


Clarissa said...

Thank you for coming by, Barry. You are insanely talented.

Everybody: here are more cartoons by Barry:

Clarissa said...

Mike: I also have some libertarian sympathies. This is why the current dilution of Libertarianism by the Tea Party crazies is so annoying.

Izgad said...


I might come close to the anti-choice libertarian position since I believe that the government has greater justification for involving themselves with abortion, as the bringing of children into this world is something of a State interest, than it does telling people what substances they can put into their bodies. The conversion about abortion does not begin until one accepts that all people have the right to control their own bodies.

Clarissa said...

Izgad: see 'Briefly tempting' part of the cartoon. :-) :-) :-)

Mikewind Dale said...

I am "The Historian" and "Consistent." For me, everything comes down to nemo potest dare quod non habet. The government is one's proxy, and one can appoint it as one's proxy only to do those things which one has the moral right to do so oneself, only that in the state of nature, one would practically lack the ability to do that which he has a moral right to do. Just as an individual is forbidden to compel or coerce his neighbor, so too, a group of individuals (or the government they have appointed as a proxy) is forbidden to compel or coerce.

So I get to throw utilitarianism out the window. It's nice when I find what I believe to be empirical evidence that life would be better under libertarianism, but it's not essential to me. Utilitarianism is irrelevant when it comes to what is fundamentally morally right. So it's easy to be "Consistent" when no empirical data whatsoever is admissible in refuting me.

Ral said...

For information on what world Libertarians and supporters are doing see: