Palinisms

This hilarious collection of immortal statements by our resident political clown #1 just came out. As Jacob Weisberg, the author, states in the introduction, it's more difficult to create a book of Palinisms than a collection of Bushisms. While Bush sounded hilarious because of concrete grammar and factual mistakes, Palin simply sounds incoherent most of the time. Still, the author of Palinisms: The Accidental Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin managed to bring a semblance of order into the chaos of Palin's written and oral expression and presented his readers with a great collection of Palin's most ridiculous statements.

In this day and age, to be a successful politician, you have to be an entertainer and a relatable character first and foremost. Gone are the times when we expected our leaders to be well-versed in history, geography, foreign relations, constitutional law, and boring stuff like that. Today, people vote for whomever they would like to invite for a beer, no matter how many silly things that person can spew per minute. Of course, economically and politically this approach to selecting our leaders leads us into one disaster after another. But the upside is that we will never be bored while politicians like Sarah Palin are around.

In this book, you will find your favorite "Palinisms", as well as some that might have escaped your notice. The sources from which these Palinisms have been gathered are Palin's public speeches, newspaper and TV interviews (including the most famous ones), and Palin's hilarious autobiography Going Rogue: An American Life. I never read the autobiography but the quotes from it that Weisberg offers in Palinisms: The Accidental Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin are priceless.

Here are a few Palinisms to brighten up your day. Or make it sadder if you are given to philosophical reflections about the future of this country.

If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?" (Going Rogue).

I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals—right next to the mashed potatoes. (Going Rogue).

I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people. (ABC interview with Charles Gibson, September 11, 200)

I can do my part in doing things like working really, really hard to get a natural gas pipeline. Pray about that also. I think God's will has to be done, in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that. (Speaking at the Wasilla Assemblies of God church, Wasilla, Alaska, June 8, 2008)

I can do my job there, in developing our natural resources, and doing things like getting the roads paved, making sure our troopers have their cop cars and their uniforms and their guns, and making sure our public schools are funded. But really, all of that stuff doesn't do any good if the people of Alaska's hearts isn't right with God. (Speaking at the Wasilla Assemblies of God church, Wasilla, Alaska, June 8, 2008.)

The last one is kind of scary rather than funny. But in a way, aren't they all scary as hell?