After I separated from my first husband, people kept asking me, "Why did you guys break up? Whose fault was it?" For years, I would respond with a long detailed story about how he was a horrible person who treated me badly, betrayed me and forced me to leave him because of how nasty he was.
Then once, when somebody asked me this question, I just said, "I think we were both to blame but probably I was a little more to blame." And I felt like adding no extra details because the story had become boring. That's when I knew that I was finally over it.
So today I was answering a personal email from a colleague who mentioned my second graduate program*. And I immediately went on a long and detailed rant about how vile the experience was for me and how much I suffered there. Which means that I'm still far from being over it. I just hope that one day I will be able to say calmly, "It was not a good place for me" and stop right after that.
* My first graduate program was absolutely 100% fantastic.