Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Penile Extension for Lloyd Blankfein

So the more I think about Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO of Goldman Sachs and his sad bicycle ties, the sorrier I feel for him. Imagine how minuscule the poor creature's penis should be for him to spend his life trying to compensate in such excessive ways.

Since so much government money is going to him in order to help him deal with the psychological consequences of this grave physiological shortcoming, I suggest that we deal with the issue once and for all and pay for a good, solid penile extension for this individual.
Just imagine, people, we pay for this little operation once and then we can stop handing over our money to Blankfein once and for all. With a penis of a semi-decent size, he will not need all these endless cars, boats, helicopters, houses, and red ties with bicycles.He will finally stop compensating and leave us all alone.

Come on, my friends, we can do this. Let's petition the government to establish the "Lloyd Blankfein's tiny penis fund." Look how sad and pathetic he looks in this picture. Imagine all the people he destroyed with his insane greed. Wouldn't everybody feel so much better if Blankfein's penis got to be a reasonable size?


Anonymous said...

There are many sources of insecurity apart from what you think plagues Goldman Sachs. There is no way for us to pay for them all.

Natalee said...

Ha ha ha. I like it. I would even contribute the money if I could.

Clarissa said...

Nah, it's the penis, my friend, I am pretty damn sure on this one. :-)

Anonymous said...

Why do these people always look so nasty? It's like their faces are stamped with the mark of greed, nastiness and meanness.

Clarissa said...

I think he is trying to look thoughtful in this picture. Which must be way too tough for someone whose brain is even smaller than his minuscule penis.