Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Another Failed Attempt to Visit the University Restaurant

Yet again I go to our university restaurant only to discover that their lunch menu is uneatable. Today, they are serving pulled pork, nachos, hotdogs, and hamburgers. Are they trying to kill us all off or something?

The student cafeteria offers marginally better fare today: crab-stuffed pollock (unfortunately, covered in a thick layer of bread crumbs), deep-fried shrimp (the person who invented deep frying should be in jail, in my opinion), rosemary roasted potatoes (which are so salty as to bring one's blood pressure through the roof), and boiled carrots. Of course, all of these food options could be improved dramatically by cutting down on salt and heavy sauces that everything is swathed in, skipping the deep fryer and forgetting about the bread crumbs. Everybody says that healthy food is more expensive but every measure I suggested here has to do with cutting down on unhealthy ingredients, which can only lead to saving money.

In the student cafeteria we also have a salad stand. Unfortunately, it features pasta salads bathed in heavy sauces all the time. I find the concept of a pasta salad to be completely alien to my worldview. Who wants to eat cold pasta, anyways?

You can also make your own salad out of a bunch of humongous lettuce leaves, bacon bits, pickles, extremely salty sunflower seeds, cheese, and on the days we are very lucky, fresh cucumbers.

If I sound too finicky about food, keep in mind that I have high blood pressure. The climate where I live right now is deadly to me. Last summer I had a hypertensive episode that lasted for five weeks. I managed to bring my BP down without any medication, of which I'm very proud. Now that the summer is close again, I need to do all I can to avoid another bout of hypertension. So pulled pork with barbecue sauce terrifies me.

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Leah Jane said...

Blimey. That reminds me of my first trip to Kansas and Missouri, with my diabetic father. Even with the Atkins diet in full swing of popularity, it was impossible to find healthy, low-sugar, tasty foods for him. I also learned of the existence of chicken fried steak, deep-fried catfish, brown butter ice cream, and deep fried pickles. I was terrified, especially by the pickle.

Clarissa said...

Reading about the deep fried pickle in your comment just made me laugh hysterically. Is that even possible? Sweet Jesus on the cross! :-) :-) :-)

My mother followed the Atkins diet for a while. When I saw her eat a sandwich made out of a pork chop topped with sausage, I was terrified.

Leah Jane said...

Oh, it's very possible. There's even photographic proof:

Just... never again.
My parents were on Atkins too, and in a stroke of their usual genius, they decided to put me and my sister (12 and 10, respective ages) on it... There's nothing quite as mortifying as your parents making you pee on a stick to check if you're in ketosis and sending you to school with beef jerky and a turkey-bacon wrapped roast beef slice for lunch.

Clarissa said...

That's one disgusting picture.

A relative of mine tried to recruit everybody to her new diet that consisted of drinking one's own pee. This was supposed to bring about numerous health benefits. So I know what you mean about crazy diets and relatives. :-)

Anonymous said...

Pulled Pork was very trendy in fancy restaurants circa 2008.


Anonymous said...

Also, there must be plenty of farms in your area. The University should build a cooperation program with local farmers and serve healthy foods from the surrounding farms.


Clarissa said...

2008 was the year where I was completely and utterly broke, so I missed the trends of good restaurants. Which is just as well, by the way it sounds.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. That's horrible. I knew on campus dining at my university was better than most, but WOW. How do they even get away with that?

Also: fried pickles are delicious. Also: deep fried macaroni and cheese. It sounds weird, but it's amazing.

Rimi said...

Our student cafeteria, I must admit, was much better. One key factor, I think, was the number of choices. There were very, very greasy fries and burgers, and oily pizzas, but there was a sandwich counter, made from ingredients one chose. It wasn't too expensive, but still managed to be a rip-off, when compared to home-made sandwiches, but then the undergrads seldom made their own food.

My favourite was the little taqueria. Soft and grilled tacos, burritos, and quesadillas. The flatbreads were warm and soft, the refried beans were delish (I'm a big fan of refried beans), the chicken was roasted with lots of citrus, the beef steak chunks were succulent, AND you could have all or any of boiled back beans, lettuce, sour cream, salsa and guacamole.

There was also a Japanese counter that was very popular, but the food was too bland for my Indian tastebuds.

Clarissa said...

Of course, if we had a stand with Indian food in our cafeteria, I would emigrate there. :-)