Well, after a while, I met my ex. The first thing he did was tell me that I need to get off the fake shit. He told me that if I talk like a "valley girl" or "the Whitest White chick on earth" (which I do) to accept that and move on. He told me that I could find more TRUE acceptance and friendship by being WHO I AM instead of being WHO I THINK OTHERS WANT ME TO BE! The funny thing is, at first I protested.I swore up and down I was NOT faking anything. (Even though I knew damn well growing up I spoke TOTALLY differently then I was speaking at that time) But, after he specifically requested that I not speak that way in front of his family, I realized that he was right. He was right about me acting fake. And he was right about people liking and accepting me more for being myself.
Where do you think the following comes from? A "Patriarchy Rules" website where women swap stories about how important it is to allow men to lecture you and mold you into the version of you they will be comfortable with? No, the story actually comes from a website called Womanist Musings.
I always hope that at least on womanist blogs I will be spared reading stories about how a man lectured a woman on how she should behave and how she complied, which made her super happy in the end. If any man in my life ever allowed himself to criticize my speaking patterns (let alone "specifically request" that I change them for the benefit of the patriarchal structure of his family), he would not be a man in my life any more.
It's sad to see how readily so many women allow men to infantilize them. It's sad to see that the situation where a men lectures and commands while a woman jumps to attention is so wide-spread that even feminists don't always notice how humiliating such stories are to women.