Thursday, October 1, 2009

Bullying

One of the best things about being a professor is that you only have to be at work 2 or 3 days a week. So I can stay home and watch Dr. Phil. Today, he is having a show on school bullying and is being as uninsightful as usual.

Yes, bullying is bad. Yes, the bullies are wrong and are very insecure. What is the point of making an entire show on the subject if you have nothing else to add to the topic? Dr. Phil was talking to a woman who was bullied from grade school all the way through high school, even though she attended several different schools. She said that today her personal life and everyday behavior were still deeply affected by the bullying. She feels unattractive and insecure and can't have a normal relationship with a man. All Dr. Phil could respond is that she should suck it up, forget about the bullying and stop being defined by it. It's easier said than done, of course.

A more insightful approach to the subject would be to analyze why some children always get bullied even when they keep changing schools. These are obviously children with very low self-esteem that are being set up as perfect victims for bullying by the way their parents treat them. Some parents scream at the children, ridicule them, make fun of them, make them feel worthless, subject them to constant control, intrude on their privacy, even beat them and then act all surprised when the kids  are subjected to the same treatment by their classmates. Some people need a child who is a constant victim and knows no other role. It's easier to manipulate, control and subject such a child. Of course, later they discover that other people follow in theiir footsteps and victimize the child in the same manner.

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