Cindy Meston, a so-called psychologist from Texas (where else, people?), apppeared today on the show of Dr. Phil, another so-called psychologist, to promote the silly rubbish that apparently goes for research in Texas. This pseudo-scientist's new book is . I kid you not, my friends. There is actually a woman in the world whose own sexuality is so miserable that she needs to conduct research to look for the "reasons" behind female sexuality. Burning calories, boredom and revenge are some of the "reasons" that Cindy Meston lists for female sexuality. It never occurs to her, of course, that these are not actual reasons for women to have sex. These are simply justifications women often have to look for because their sexuality is constantly otherized, marginalized and persecuted.
Male desire is seen as a given. men want sex, what can be more natural and obvious? When women want sex, however, it is seen is something so weird and incomprehensible that it has to be analyzed to death.
"Women need to have reasons to have sex while men just need a place" was the piece of chauvinistic idiocy that Dr. Phil came up with to introduce the topic. This is precisely the kind of attitude that makes women feel apologetic for pursuing sexual pleasure. One of the segments of the show was dedicated to a woman who actually desires sex because it gives her pleasure. Of course, the woman who was chosen for this segment is nothing short of freaky. She dresses in an extremely weird way, has humonguous breast implants and behaves in a way that borders on scary. After depicting a sexual woman in this way, Dr. Phil doesn't need to say anything else to ridicule female sexuality. The only conclusion people can draw from this presentation of female desire is that a woman who likes sex for its own sake is weird.
Predictably, the show then degenerated into promoting the "sex-as-an-aid-to-relationship" approach that is the hallmark of puritanical patriarchy. In answer to a question of what should a couple do when one of them isn't interested in having sex with the partner, Dr. Phil started pontificating about sex needing to be "negotiated as part of a relationship." This approach is precisely what causes so much sexual misery in this sexless society. People are schooled to think of their relationship first and of sexuality second. However, you can't force your body to serve your ideological and social goals indefinitely. As much as you might want to subjugate your sexuality to the needs of the all-important relationship, it isn't going to work. Sexual desire can't be cheated into thinking that you want somebody you don't (at least not for long).