I finally figured out why this whole discussion about "gendered research" bothers me so much. My entire life other women have been telling me that I'm "not really a woman" or that I "think, act, speak just like a man." Things that disqualify me as a "real woman" range from tiny and insignificant (e.g. my indifference to chocolate) to more important ones (my bookishness, my directness in interpersonal communications, etc.). I might move from one continent to another, from one country to another but there will always be some women somewhere who will explain to me that I don't fit into the "correct" version of womanhood. Women, mind you. Never men. (I realize that men do that to other men, of course. But I'm not a man, so I only get this from women.) Of course, discovering that my passion for research now also characterizes me as not really female couldn't fail but annoy me.
Gender relations are a lot more complex than "bad horrible men oppress nice kind women" (or vice versa). Both men and women are actively engaged in keeping existing gender stereotypes in place. Both men and women are victimized by these stereotypes in certain ways, while being favored by them in a variety of other ways.
Often, people who pretend to denounce a gender stereotype end up perpetuating it. In the discussion of "gendered research" I was told several times that "women are expected to be nurturing as teachers." The curious thing, though, is that I have never in my life heard, read, or saw on TV any man use the words "nurturing" and "teaching" in the same sentence. So who hides behind the seemingly innocuous passive construction of "women are expected"? Who really expects us to be trivial, giggly, chocolate- and boyfriend-obsessed, nurturing, self-sacrificing, cookie-baking, wasting our lives on household chores, and incapable of producing valuable research?