32.7 DRESS AND PERSONAL APPEARANCE. All University employees are expected to portray a professional image to students, parents, and the community at large. An employee’s dress and appearance shall be neat and clean. At a minimum, the standard office dress code shall be defined as business casual. Apparel needs to be free of slogans or advertisements. In addition, apparel shall not be of an indecent, suggestive, provocative, obscene, or defamatory nature. If applicable, employees are encouraged to wear their university logo shirts. The University may direct an employee to leave work and/or change clothes if he/she is are found in violation of this provision.This proposal contains so much that is offensive and purely idiotic that I hardly know where to begin. How is the cleanliness of my attire to be evaluated? Will I be required to bring dry-cleaning receipts to prove that I clean my clothes on a regular basis? Do I need witnesses to testify that I do my laundry often enough to satisfy these losers? And who will teach my classes if I'm ordered to leave for "violating the provision"? The administrators? That, surely, be fun to observe. Maybe now, whenever I'm too lazy to prepare a class, I should just show up dressed "obscenely" and be sent home to rest.
And how about "suggestive" and "provocative" clothes? What can, say, a 60-year-old male professor wear that will be deemed suggestive and provocative? Nothing comes to mind, which makes me suspect that there is not a little sexism that went into this idiotic provision. besides, different people are provoked by different things. How am I to know which part of my wardrobe our control-freak administrator du jour will find upsetting?
As for slogan-free apparel, I just ordered a shirt with a slogan on the importance of responsible journalism. I also have another T-shirt that I often wear to school and it says: "This is what a feminist looks like." Can I not wear them now? Because some idiot who has read less than I have published says so? Really?
So this is what I wrote in response to the dress code discussion that, mind you, was not initiated by the people trying to sneak this barbarity past us:
This dress code reminds me of how things were in the Soviet Union. I don't seem to be able to run fast or far enough to outrun these paternalistic Soviet practices. They always catch up with me.I still remember my Soviet high school teachers running after me in school hallways and threatening to send me home for not having my hair in a braid or for my skirt being too shirt. Good times. Can't wait to relive my childhood here in an American university.
Welcome to the Soviet Union, my friends!