Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How to Know if You Have Arrived as a Blogger

One sign of undeniable blogging success is, in my opinion, have people dedicate passionate posts to how you are horrible and how much your blog sucks. I have achieved that distinction a while ago and have discovered that some really good readers have found my blog as a result of anti-Clarissa propaganda.

Yet another mark of a blogger's popularity is when people start having very emotional relationships with the blog. Every once in a while, somebody would have an outburst of the "Oh my God, this blog is beyond stupid. I am going away now and will never ever come back to this horrible, stupid, badly written blog!" variety. Then, a few weeks (or sometimes months) go by, and the same reader who apparently has been unable to leave explodes in yet another "Oh my God, I cannot believe I decided to give you a second chance and came back here and your blog is just as stupid as ever. Now let me analyze in detail the 200 of your most recent posts to show how stupid your blog is and then I will go away for ever and ever" rant. So a few more months go by, and here is the stubborn reader breaking out with a rant du jour promising that this time they will abandon this horribly stupid blog for sure. It's truly a mystery why anybody would keep coming to such a dreadful blog with such admirable assiduity.

Sometimes, people try so hard to point out everything that I do wrong and make such an effort to "improve" the blog, it begins to feel like this is the only website in the world and unless it becomes perfect, there is no more hope for the Internet. I am kind of flattered that some readers develop such a deep passion for the blog, but I'm also a little weirded out by this.

So, dear readers whose feelings get hurt by how far this blog is from perfection: as a scholar of Spanish literature, I fully respect your quixotic drive to improve the world one misguided blogger at a time. I understand that there are and always will be people who hate every single word I have ever written. I also realize that, for some strange reason, these are often the same people who can't imagine life away from my blog. You are welcome to stick around and comment (respectfully) as much as you want. I do, however, have a piece of bad news for you: it is highely unlikely that I will change my opinion on every single subject and start writing in a completely different way any time soon.

And if nothing in this post seemed even remotely funny to you, I kind of understand why this entire blog bugs you so much.


wanderlust said...

ROFL! It is indeed true, though. Most of the good bloggers I read have readers/trolls like those.

Pagan Topologist said...

I have not found much to criticize here. Disagree with, yes, of course. But I am going to heap praise upon you for using the -en past participle of "to prove" in this post. I always get a little angry when anyone writes or says "have proved" or any other such. I feel at such times that my language may be deteriorating before my very eyes and ears and that soon communication will be no longer possible using English at all.

I am thinking of forming an organization with a name something like "English Users for the Preservation of English Strong Verbs" to keep and resurrect such participles. I fear that someone will soon begin using "we had writed" or some such linguistic obscenity. Is it too late to save/revive "shown" when so many say "showed?"

Clarissa said...

I will definitely be joining that organization. It got to the point where I feel strangely apologetic whenever I say "proven."

A while ago, I was greeted with the following message left at my office by a student: "I must of forgot to hand in the essay." It took me a while to decipher the message.

Jonathan said...

It always cracks me up when people get angry when a verb starts to shift forms. The past particle "proved" is already in the dictionary; the horse has left the barn.

Now people who think "thusly" is a word." That's a peeve worth your ire.