Friday, December 10, 2010

The Kind of Posts I Hate

There is a number of topical posts that keep appearing on a regular basis in my blogroll. After only twenty months of blogging, I am sick to death of seeing the same tired old thing. So here is the list of the type of posts I hate:

1. "I haven't blogged for a long time because I've been too busy at work / school."

I don't know about other blogging platforms, but in mine the blogroll only shows me the title and the first few lines of a new post by the 150+ bloggers I follow. It gets very annoying to see three or four posts by different people appear in my blogroll one after another with this same boring beginning. It would make sense to be apologetic if you really suspect that yours is the only blog your readers ever visit. Even with the best blogs in the world that is mostly not the case. Nobody needs these boring apologies. You don't have to blog if you don't feel like it, so quit offering explanations for why you haven't blogged in a while.

2. "Don't have time to blog right now but will be back soon."

So when you are back and have the desire to share something interesting, then write a post. These meaningless announcements clutter one's blogroll and make an impression that the blogger in question has an exaggerated sense of their own importance. Yes, we are all sitting here, holding our breaths and eagerly awaiting your return to blogging, so thanks for the timely reassurance.

3. "I work so hard on this blog and you, ungrateful readers, never even say 'Thank you'."

You blog because you feel like it. Sometimes blogging even makes you money. So stop acting like you are doing everybody such a huge favor when, in reality, wild horses couldn't drag you away from the computer. Rather, thank your readers for giving their precious free time to reading what you have to say.

4. "I wrote this great post, and nobody left any comments. So now I feel like all the work I do here makes no sense. Maybe I should stop sacrificing my free time to this if nobody cares anyway?"

Preparing for a job with Guilt Trips Unlimited, are you? Yes, life is meaningless, and your readers are all ungrateful bastards who cannot appreciate the work of genius you have produced. Sucks to be you. And sucks to be the poor reader who has to sort through endless posts of this kind in the blogroll.


Pagan Topologist said...

I guess I am out of touch, but I don't know what a blogroll is. I just click on my address bar, see your blog or one of five or six others that I read, scroll down, click on the address, and your blog shows up.

Clarissa said...

Yes, that list is what I call a blogroll. Maybe it's the wrong term. But since I have to roll the mouse down the list, it seems like a good word for it.

Thanks for being such a great follower and commenter!!

Vinod Khare said...

What?! neither one of you use Google reader?! :)

Catherine X said...

Good one ! Can you hear me roaring with laughter, Clarissa??

Anonymous said...

#3 is hilarious!! do people really write that?