Sunday, January 16, 2011

Looking for Beauty

So I'm watching this show called Millionaire Matchmaker (yes, I'm that sick. After reading this statement, people who know me in person will be grabbing their phones to call me in panic, "Oh my God, you never said you were on the death's door! What's happening?"). I know it's a stupid show, and it would have never occurred to me to watch it had it not been for my getting as sick as this.

The funny tendency I'm observing in this show is that men who are looking for women constantly talk about how all they want is somebody beautiful, and nobody seems to mind much. When a millionaire woman, however, says that all she wants in a guy is stunning good looks, this causes general consternation. The millionaire woman, nevertheless, is oblivious to anybody's criticism. As she well should be. After making $8,000,000, I think she finally deserves the right to be honest about what she wants without catering to the silly gender stereotypes of women not being interested in how men look.

It's always nice to see a powerful, financially independent woman who can finally just do whatever she wants and not care about what the patriarchal society expects from her.

P.S. And the millionaire woman tells the guy she wants to have sex with him on the first date without any silly concerns over what he's going to think about her or anything like that. So this is what women require not to be afraid of their own needs: eight million dollars. I think I should now go and revise my list of long-term goals.

12 comments:

Rimi said...

More power to this woman -- I'm guessing this a reality show where aspirants turn up and hope to be picked as partners by very rich people?

The possible catch is that despite her eight million, this woman might still feel the need to at least match her dashing partner's looks, or be considered the lacking half of the equation. This is unlikely to happen to a man with even just fifty thousand dollars in spare change.

After all, money doesn't translate into power for a socially repressed group. You mentioned Wilde's wife. I'm reminded of Jung's wife. They both had money, which is usually considered enough achievement for men, and the route to happiness. Look where it got the women, though.

wanderlust said...

LOL, you're fisking Millionaire Matchmaker for gender stereotypes?!!

I love that show. It's like a horror movie. You're disgusted but you can't look away.

Clarissa said...

Yeah, I know. I'm not proud of myself here or anything. At least, I managed to squeeze a blog post out of it. :-)

Rimi: you are right, of course.

wanderlust said...

BTW, I'd love to know what you think of this. Saw this today morning.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/206752/how-to-look-good-naked-layla

Lennin said...

So are you saying, all you want is sex on the first date with a nice looking guy?

You don't need 8 Million bucks to say that, do you? Are you actually dating someone? Who's your fantasy date?

Of course women like men for the looks, but not only that, same with men. The gender stereotypes you seem to be talking about are clichés, just that.

J Schwartz said...

***I think she finally deserves the right to be honest about what she wants without catering to the silly gender stereotypes of women not being interested in how men look. ***

Surely this is a strawman? Who honestly believes that women are not interested in how men look? News of the world's s8xiest man, whether it be Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, or Justin Bieber, is hardly kept a secret.

Clarissa said...

"You don't need 8 Million bucks to say that, do you? Are you actually dating someone? Who's your fantasy date?"

-I'm married. My husband and I started living together on our second date. :-) So no, I don't need 8 mln to tell anybody anything. :-) Not everybodys is as outspoken as I am, though. :-)

"Surely this is a strawman? Who honestly believes that women are not interested in how men look? "

-I can't tell you how many times I heard this. And how many times I shocked people by saying that looks are important.

David said...

Whatever is important to people is important to people. Be it looks, or wealth, smarts or compassion.

I'd say that we'd be better off as a whole not caring about what other people want in a relationship.

If a woman wants a man for sex, that's her prerogative. At the very least, I wish people would take a page out of this woman's playbook and be more honest about what they want.

Clarissa said...

Finally, David and I agree completely. Miracles do happen! :-) :-)

wanderlust said...

But don't you also love how the prospectives find their true love as soon as they conform to Patty's ideas of what they *should* be like. In the end, she does manage to get the said millionaire in touch with her 'feminine side'. :)

BTW, I totally love your random posts widget. I'm going to copy that on my blog.

fairykarma said...

I'm never ever honest when I turn down women for their looks. I'm also never upfront with anyone about my needs in a relationship or sex-wise, mostly due to the fact that people like...LOVE to retaliate when they're rejected.

Now, I'm not every guy. Many guys are quite open about their needs. Some people even put their homemade sex videos online. Such bravery on behalf of these wonderful exhibitionists.

But what about those of us who actually have long term goals? These days privacy is becoming a fun word to play on scrabble rather than an actual concept worth discussing. Facebook. Pictures of massive inebriation by both men and women. I think to myself... where do these people see themselves in 20 years? Don't you think being completely honest about yourself online a la Facebook or blog will be a disadvantage in the future when people start digging your past?

I thought the whole point of books like The Prince or other equally shocking books was to point out the conniving nature one needs to undertake their goals when other people are needed to achieve the said goals.

If we're willing to admit to ourselves that men and women can enjoy sex for sex, if we're willing to admit that women can indeed choose a man for looks (rather than earning potential). I think we can go further and declare that men and women often NEED to resort to underhanded "tread lightly" tactics to get what they want without major repercussion simply because of traditional gender restrictions.

This talk of being "open" and "honest". Come on.... Many men and women are having to resort to leaving the country just to get the sex that they need. Women are being illegally imported into the first world because... some people can't afford that ticket to Brazil or Thailand.

Clarissa said...

You are so right. Privacy is dead. And it's one thing when people post stuff online while being fully aware of the fact. But there are also tons of those who somehow fail to realize that their prospective employers can see all of those drunken Facebook photos.