Responses to Blogger Meltdown, Part III

And here is the funniest part of the responses to the Blogger malfunction. I now present to you the Blogger conspiracy theorists:

I'm beginning to become very worried, I suspect the problem cannot be fixed and soon Google will announce it can no longer continue with the Blogger service due to a fatal system error.  Blogger is better than Gmail and Google search combined. Blogger is better than sliced bread!!!!!! Blogger is the best thing in the world. DON'T SCRAP BLOGGER!

So beware users if you ask to many Questions of post that you should look for alternatives Your acount gets suspended

Google = Enron

I saw someone's post about the eBlogger has been sth like hacked / blacklisted regarding security reason (in US)

Google is slowing trying to get control out from bloggers. 

Either Google is incompetent, or, the CIA is mucking about with Blogger because there have been so many posts on the CIA's psy-op in Abbottabad in Pakistan

I have two blogs.  One of them is on a topic some would consider controversial.  It will be interesting to see what, if anything, happens to my blogs or others that are deemed "controversial" or "sensitive."

And this is Blogger's official response that is either a deliberate pun or an explanation for the ineptitude of Blogger's employees. 

Blogger:

Thanks for your patience in the mean time.

Responses to Blogger Meltdown, Part II

Thank you, everybody, for sticking around while Blogger was down and preventing the stats of Clarissa's Blog from slipping down even marginally.

To reward you for your patience, here are more hilarious post titles from the Blogger Help forum. These are all completely real. I did not invent them or change them in any way. 

Wistful:

i'm leaving blogger for  avoiding more pain in the future. of course blogger will not miss me.

Tragic:

We Should Have Been Warned

My entire blog is gone

Blogger goes down, taking 30 hours of posts with it

This is a suspense thriller that I wish I could opt out of :(

Psychoanalytical:

broken posting - broken communication

Yes, we are frustrated, but let's put this into perspective. 

Philosophical:

In a perfect world, everything would work the way it is supposed to. Since we don't live in a perfect work, stuff doesn't go according to plan. In this case, it didn't.

Business-like:

Can you please give us a TIME for blogger being back up. This is adversely affecting my business.

My blogger is still down and unavailable! Please advise

Why no further updates as to when service will be restored?

Didactic:

yes, our blogs are down, but we survived before the invention of the blog.  It's a blog.   12,000 people died as a result of the tsunami-earthquake in Japan.  There are children who won't get breakfast this morning.  Millions of Americans live in substandard housing. We expect everything to be fixed in an instant.  Doctors are still searching for a cure for cancer.  Buildings cannot built overnight.   Sometimes, even computer glitches can be difficult to repair. 

Political:

I just don't understand why Blogger has maintenance problems these days? Being terrorist attacked? I'm losing my readers!

A military compound in Pakistan was just bombed and 80 people have been injured and my blogger service is down.

Have we been attacked by the Russians or Chinese. I can't for the life of me understand why Google would have these kinds of  maintenance problems.

Medical:

I am getting shakes..withdrawals....HELP

How long is this going to take? I'm beginning to have Blogger withdrawal!!!

Responses to Blogger Meltdown, Part I

A good blogger sees everything as a topic to blog about. Even the recent 21-hour-long shutdown of all Blogger blogs has produced a variety of interesting, blog-worthy observations. Take, for example, the Google forum where people have been venting their frustrations and asking for updates on the Blogger debacle. I have culled out the most curious titles of the comments on the recent events from the forum. Now I'm offering them to you, so that you can fully appreciate what a blogger experiences after being deprived of access to his or her blog. I have placed the titles into different categories to facilitate their perusal.

I warn you, though, that you are about to face a human drama of incredible proportions.

Desperate:

When will Blogger be working again? It's 9:24PM here, and I haven't been able to access my account for hours!!

3rd Attempt for help, still no responses!!! Please Help!

Blogger is broken

I can't even VIEW my blog. Help!

I don't want to know how many people have asked this question, I want the answer. How do I log onto my blog with bX-u32g6r?

YOU FOOLS GOOGLE/BLOGGER. 

Heelpsss !!! I can't Access my account today ...!!

I just want to blog!!!!

Existential:

I am lost without my blog, when will it be fixed?

What Going On ??

What does this mean?

WHY?

Is it the End of #Blogger.Com’s Era ?

this error will haunting me always.

Religious / superstitious:

Sweet Jesus, there are problems with Twitter too (and the Blogger Borg implodes)

Is this all problem with Friday 13?

What in Heaven's Name Is Going On With Blogger?

Lyrical (this is my absolute favorite section. You can totally sing every one of these comment titles):

My blog is missing, been taking away.....

Ooo.. Blogger!! Please, Bring Back the Our Account Now !! :(

when will this all will end, this is enough for too long

Help, My Blog Has Fallen And It Can't Get Up - Hello, Life-Alert?

Recent Issues With Blogger

I have no idea whether Blogger has been permanently repaired or not, so I'll just place this announcement here to let people know what's happening. Blogger has been down since about 3 pm yesterday. Blog authors have had no access to their blogs and couldn't even notify the readers about what was happening. Now it seems like all the posts written since Wednesday have disappeared. This is not a big deal for this particular blog because I saved them all. If Blogger doesn't restore them soon, I will just republish them. Unfortunately, I didn't back up yesterday's comments, so those might end up being lost. 

I don't want to dump on Blogger because of this malfunction because shit happens and there is no way around that. I'm just happy to have my blog back. I'm now thinking of opening a backup blog at Wordpress just to have a place where I will be able to publish updates about this blog if there is another malfunction.

P.S. Blogger is now back to normal functioning and is restoring all the information that had been lost.

Blogs of Note

So I have finally figured out how Blogger selects blogs to promote under the heading of "Blogs of Note" (which makes one's number of hits go through the roof.) It isn't about popularity, or having many followers and/or comments. Some of the "Blogs of Note" don't seem to have any readers whatsoever before they get promoted by Blogger. The quality of the text doesn't matter either because many of them have no text.

Turns out it's all about pictures, people. The blogs that get promoted are the ones that have a crazy number of photos in each post. If there is nothing but photos (usually of quite low quality), then better yet. Which means that my blog has no chance of being promoted by Blogger because I have filled it with text and not with photos of my old slippers and dirty makeup brushes. 

I kind of feel resentful about this.

Blogger Is Messing With My Routine

As I mentioned before, it always takes me a very long time to become fully functional after I wake up. This is why, for example, I always get up at 6 am (in spite of being the opposite of a morning person) whenever I have to teach at 9:30. I have a routine all worked out that helps me get into a fully awake mode. I get up, have a cup of coffee, scroll down my blogroll to see what people have been blogging about. When I find a post title that sounds interesting, I follow the link, read it and often comment. (This is why people who don't give titles to their posts don't get many visits from me.)

For the last two days, though, Blogger has been acting up. I think that some changes are being introduced to it, and this always messes with Blogger's functionality. As a result, it's been informing me that my blogroll is empty and suggesting that I add some blogs that I'd like to follow. So now I have to use Google Reader to access the 235 blogs I follow. I don't like Google Reader much because many people place their entire (often extremely lengthy) posts in there instead of hiding everything but the first paragraph under the break. I'm sure they don't mean to be annoying and just simply don't know that this is something that needs to be done. 

I just hope that Blogger goes back to normal soon. If you use Blogger, are you experiencing the same issues with the blogs you follow?