An Update on My Heroic Struggle with Twilight

I know that I promised to take a glance at the Twilight Saga and post a review. But, sheesh, people, how can anybody manage to get through this thing? Forget about the plot, forget about the characters, just tell me how it can be humanly possible to read something so badly written? I've managed to get through sixteen pages in this entire time and the flat, choppy sentences are driving me up the wall. 

Teenagers don't talk like that, act like that, or think like that. Why, oh why, do they read thousands of pages of this sad excuse for a novel? There is so much great stuff to read in the world and so little time to read it. And still people choose this??

I knew Twilight would be bad but I had no idea it could be this abysmally low-quality.

Are teenagers getting stupider or what?

I want to believe in the younger generation. It's nice to think that today's kids will be smarter than we are. Sometimes, though, it's hard to maintain this illusion, especially in view of news like these:

HELENA, Mont. (AP) -- General rule of thumb: when looking to buy marijuana, don't text the sheriff. Authorities said a Helena teen hit a wrong number and inadvertently sent a message to Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton, saying "Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now? A detective pretending to be the dealer organized a meeting at a time when the boy knew he and another teen would be at a particular store.

Apparently, the guy in question texted the sheriff even before he was stoned. I can only imagine what he'd be capable of after he makes his purchase.