A Day in the So-Called Life of a Goldman Sachs Investment Banker

When I read this description of a regular day of what Goldman Sachs investment bankers believe is life, I thought that the purpose of this article was to scare people away from this insane, burn-yourself-out-and-die-of-a-heart-attack-by-the-age-of-40 lifestyle.

I was wrong, thoough. There are people (or should I just be honest and call them poor pathetic robots that have no idea how to be human?) who actually choose this slow and painful suicide instead of just having a life.

The author of this agenda did their best to try and find some sense of humor in what is being described here. However, when you look past the feeble attempts at joking, what you take away from this sorry description is an overwhelming sense of pity for people whose lives are so empty and useless that they would consent to such a horrifying lifestyle in order to avoid facing the reality of just how empty and useless they are.

This last page of the selection presents this insane suicidal lifestyle as something positive.

When asked why they live like these, the sad, miserable individuals in question say that it's a "personal choice." Well, obviously it is but the interesting question is why actual human beings would decide to commit this painful and protracted suicide.

The most precious commodity in any society is leisure. The availability of leisure time to people after they have covered their basic necessities is the central criterion used to judge the level of comfort that the society is offering to its citizens. Only people who are terrified to be left alone with their essential inner emptiness are incapable of cherishing this precious commodity. Don't get me wrong, there is hardly anybody in the world who loves their job more than I do. However, I would not be able to perform it quite as well if I did not use my leisure to grrow personally and intellectually. The people described in this article need to spend their every moment faking extreme business in order to fill out their vacuous existence with an imitation of important activity.

Another thing to consider is that people who work in these highly competitive predominantly male environments are living an intensely homosocial existence. They lie to themselves and to others, saying that they are motivated by money. However, here as well as everywhere else, money is not of primary importance. What matters to these sad, little robots is sticking it to other men. Not surprising, given that they do not have any other place to stick their uninspiring little dicks.

Work and Play

After observing my incredibly driven, evidently overworked and perennially stressed Ivy League students, I got into a habit of ending every class by saying: "Have a great day and don't forget to have some fun." As I would often remark to my students: "If we could find somebody who works as hard as your people (meaning the Americans) and relaxes as much and as well as my people (the Ukrainians), we would have one very well-balanced individual."

People often attach a sense of guilt to procrastination. They feel that, somehow, they are wasting precious time that could be dedicated to something important. Unfortunately, they forget that doing something completely unproductive (like watching reruns of a silly show on television, reading mystery novels, surfing the Internet for no particular reason, sitting on the balcony and staring at the sunset) is often the most productive thing they can do.

For those of us who do research, long uninterrupted chunks of time when we apparently do nothing except read, think, walk around, or sit staring at the wall are crucial. This time is necessary to let the brain process information and create new ideas.

Many of my colleagues let this sense of guilt force them into looking for extra employment during the long summer holidays. As a result, their research suffers and they arrive at a new semester drained.

So my new slogan is: let's increase our productivity through fun, rest, and procrastination.